Chinese Food for Thought (is that politically incorrect?)

Last week I picked up and read the book "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua (pictured here). Perhaps you have heard of it, it is getting a lot of attention and a lot of people are appalled at this woman's parenting. But I really got a lot out of it and the timing was good for me. I have been doing a lot of worrying about my daughter and worrying about her pre school experience. (Is she happy, is she thriving, was she too young...?).


There are two points in particular that the author makes that struck me as food for thought. 
1. She says, "I notice that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self esteem... Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility and as a result they behave differently." And
2. She says, "happiness is not a concept I tend to dwell on. Chinese parenting does not address happiness...But here's the thing, when I look around at all the Western families that fall apart- all the grown sons and daughters who can't stand their parents- I have a hard time believing that Western parenting does a better job with happiness."


Now I can hear what you are thinking: she is making huge generalizations. I agree. But that aside, she brings up some interesting ideas doesn't she? 


In this book you get a first hand account of how tough and sometimes mean she was while she was pushing her daughters to excel. I wondered how she managed to keep her family in tact and in fact to flourish. No doubt she was difficult to live with, but her daughters must have felt her passion and devotion to them. It's like that old question about what matters more quality or quantity time with your kids. I believe quantity helps your kids know they are number one in your life.


So we live here in the US and are habituated to our Western values, but here's the question I've been posing to myself, how would I act differently if I:
1. Assumed strength not fragility in my daughter's psyche, and
2. Believed her happiness was not the first priority when making decisions for her.


Food for thought.