Too quick to detect?

       Sorry no post on Monday- I was busy fretting again. This is as creative as I have gotten in the last week (building castles with my 3 year old). So I was fretting about the same old thing. L had her second (and thankfully last) evaluation for learning developmental problems. As I have said in earlier posts these were recommended by her preschool teachers who told me she wasn't communicating in class. I received the results on Tuesday and thankfully everything is fine. I hesitate to talk about what has been on my mind because I am worried that it would be disrespectful to those who are raising children on the spectrum. But since I have been absorbed in this situation (and little else), I will risk sounding ignorant. 

        I think what happened with my daughter is that at school she was exhibiting behaviors that looked as though she might have been on the autistic spectrum. She wasn't communicating with her teachers or her peers. And when she was "working" on a little project, she wasn't responding to others around her. While I definitely appreciate the concern from her teachers and if there had been a developmental problem I do believe that early detection is key. But to my mind her behaviors were also in line with a reserved, quiet personality type. I wish that the teachers had given equal weight to the consideration that she wasn't autistic. They may have tried harder to engage her in conversation or asked me if she communicated at home. I don't mind the amount of time spent worrying that Matt and I did- that's our job as parents. But I do feel bad that L spent the first four months in preschool on the sidelines.

       If any one has any thoughts or comments, I would be really interested in other peoples experiences.

Telos

     Aristotle used the term telos to describe the intrinsic essence of a person. In other words, it is the mysterious matter in the acorn that is unique to that oak to be. This is all written in a book I have been skimming lately called "Simplicity Parenting". The book says: "A little grace is needed, after all, for them to develop into the people they're meant to be, especially in a world that is constantly bombarding them (and us) with distractions... These stresses distract from the task of childhood: an emerging developing sense of self."

     I think we are bombarded even more this time of year. Have you noticed how many people are out and about in a foul holiday mood? I suggest we take a little time and think about telos. If you have kids, what is the individual essence that they were born with? What is your own telos? And how do we honor it? I think quiet and listening is a good place to start.

     My daughter's telos: She was a kicker in the womb. And she is a very active and enthusiastic little person still. Her eyes were wide open and focused from the day she was born. She is a visual learner, I think. Language has taken its time to emerge. She also has a great sense of humor. That is a little bit of her acorn story. What's yours?

Princesses

So princesses have arrived in our home seemly from out of thin air. We now have a Sleeping Beauty DVD and watch it most nights. Now a days before bedtime Laurel will act out scenes from the movie. For three she is quite a talented actress. Our favorite scene lately is when Princess Aurora is sobbing at her table and then follows the "mean queen's" green light to the spinning wheel in a trance.

To my surprise, the whole princess thing has been very fun.