Happy New Year

So on my last post I wrote about adult fairy tales: all the movies and books that tell us there is a special destiny out there (in these tales the soulful career is the treasure, but true love is a close second). The problem, I think. is that they set us up for disappointment. Just like Cinderella, we all want to be princesses (or best selling authors).

But let's back up. Not long ago I was taking to my dad about my daughter. I was telling him how our activities together are mostly about bonding and playing and that I am not too worried about teaching her skills and such. I said I am much more interested in her being happy than I am in how smart she is at three years old. And she is a happy kid. In my dad's infinite wisdom, he said "being happy is smart." (Isn't that great?). And being happy happens when you don't take yourself too seriously, right?

I see these thoughts as related and related to New Years. This year: no resolutions, no goals and no struggles. This year I'm not going to look for some soulful destiny the adult fairy tales are full of. I'm going to be the kind of happy my dad was talking about. Come on, let's get on with it!

Oh, I almost forgot- Happy New Year to you!

Fairy Tales

I think that I have written in an earlier post that I am knee deep in fairy tales and princess stories these days. I have seen Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty countless times in the last six weeks. So imagine my surprise when I put L down for a nap and settle in to watch my own movie, "Eat, Prey, Love" and find another fairy tale. The thoughts I had about the movie were similar to those I had after reading "Traveling with Pomegranates" by Sue Monk Kidd (see earlier post). There seems to be a theme here that involves self involvement, angst, wallow, travel and find your destiny. Yes these are true life stories and the writers find bliss, a best selling book and get booked on Oprah, but can we really expect that our self obsession and focus on our sadness will lead to happiness? Listen, no one looks more beautiful suffering than Julia Roberts, but these stories set us up for disappointment. Personally, I am ending my relationship with wallowing and suffering. What can I do today that makes me happy? And not a kind of happy that is spilling out for others to note and envy. A kind of happy where you forget yourself because you are interested in other things.

Enough pontificating for one day. I have some more to say related to New Years, but I will spare you for now...

Have a good one.

Quick Sketch

She looks zen like making those cookies, doesn't she? Don't be fooled. A moment later the kitchen was covered in flour.


Well I'm glad I was able to squeeze in some time to do a quick sketch. I keep a drawing journal in which I like to do an "in the life of LL" sketch and run down of new and naughty things she has been up to. I try to do at least a couple of these a month, but with the holidays come all sorts of extra little tasks. I'm sure you are all feeling it too. Now we are coming upon the finishing line , so have a merry one.

Telos

     Aristotle used the term telos to describe the intrinsic essence of a person. In other words, it is the mysterious matter in the acorn that is unique to that oak to be. This is all written in a book I have been skimming lately called "Simplicity Parenting". The book says: "A little grace is needed, after all, for them to develop into the people they're meant to be, especially in a world that is constantly bombarding them (and us) with distractions... These stresses distract from the task of childhood: an emerging developing sense of self."

     I think we are bombarded even more this time of year. Have you noticed how many people are out and about in a foul holiday mood? I suggest we take a little time and think about telos. If you have kids, what is the individual essence that they were born with? What is your own telos? And how do we honor it? I think quiet and listening is a good place to start.

     My daughter's telos: She was a kicker in the womb. And she is a very active and enthusiastic little person still. Her eyes were wide open and focused from the day she was born. She is a visual learner, I think. Language has taken its time to emerge. She also has a great sense of humor. That is a little bit of her acorn story. What's yours?

Watercolor Presents Part Three

Well I'm pleased with how these watercolors look here on the computer. But to be honest I feel like they are a little overworked. The biggest challenge with watercolors is keeping them fresh and simple. I think its time to call them done. What do you think?

Watercolors Part Two

OK, how's my progress? I posted just under the wire today. My boss (aka my three year old is just about due to wake up from her nap). I added another layer of wash and detail- specific books, pillows,etc. for both paintings. Next time I will start with the landscape as I felt a little rushed and burnt out by the time I reached it today.

Stay tuned. Will I get this done in time to mail it before Christmas???

Christmas Presents

So my hope with my new blog is to post regularly. My plan is to post at least twice a week (tentatively trying for Mondays and Thursdays). But tis the season to be quite busy, right? I was worried that I wouldn't be able to meet my "goal" (I know I said no more goals...). But, I just had a great idea. I would use my posts to show progress on two watercolors I am working on for my mom and dad. (Mums the word if you know Frank and Peggy). So the top one is for my mom who loves cats and books. And the bottom one is for my dad who loves outdoor adventures and recently took a hike to Breakneck Point overlooking the Hudson River. 

What we see here are drawings based on several images found online and then a first wash of watercolor. Next will come some layers of detail. Stay tuned.

Tis the Season

Tis the season for all things Christmas. We took at least 50 pictures of our daughter this weekend "decorating" the tree for our Christmas card. I bet 50% of the population was doing the same thing this weekend.

Also, looking ahead, I am anticipating New Year's. Now, as I have mentioned, I am very into self reform and New Year's is big for me. Some years I have done days long exercises of answering questions about goals of years past and future. But this year may be different. I feel a change in myself. And I recently read a good post from a blog that I felt captured my thoughts. (If you have time- here is the link: zenhabits.net/achieving/ ). The author of the post says: "Goals take credit for our accomplishments, like a bad boss." And once written out (in clear block letters with color coded tabs, etc) then they just sit there and mock you. It's not like we won't accomplish anything if we don't have goals, right? And instead of being excited by taking action, I find having all my goals written out- robs me of that joy. So does it count if my goal this year is to get in the habit of not having goals?

Carving out our frontier acre

So there are two influences for today's post. The first is a quote from the Sue Monk Kidd book I wrote about earlier. She says, "I start to imagine the hearth not only as a place of being, but of creativity. Why couldn't it stand for tending to the present moment and also for the fiery combustion of creative work." The other influence was a book I was flipping through on early american homes. The introduction described the settlers who were confronted with the frontier and had to carve out a way of life. They brought with them cultural biases of their European heritage and could decide which ideas and conventions they wanted to preserve and which they wished to escape.

I am on a domestic kick at the moment. And I think tending to our domestic (for lack of a better word) lives can have more influence than we credited it with. The financial, social and emotional habits that get started in the home have a huge influence on the world at large. So let's draw up to our hearth- get warmth, nourishment and a fiery source for creativity. And let's carve out our acre. What will we preserve? What will we escape? And how are we to live? Any one in?

Little Bear

Lately I've been getting inspired by shows like "Little Bear" and "Franklin". (I know, an odd source of inspiration for a 40 year old woman, but my life is a little limited these days). For those of you who have seen these shows, do you ever think about how well these animals keep their homes? I've also been struck by how fulfilling it looks to keep ones life "cottage simple". Mother Bear doesn't seem stressed about her career choices or keeping up with the Jones'. I used to feel a similar nostalgia when I thought back to the "Little House on the Prairie" stories. How lovely it seemed to keep your house as neat as a pin and a sanctuary from the elements.

Should we feel guilty?

Happy Thanksgiving! This post could also be titled "Dinner for Two". We decided to plan dinner around nap time. A half hour after our lovely (but nutty) three year old was asleep we were sitting with our Thanksgiving meal, a cold beer and a good movie on TV. How selfish are we? But I do recommend the movie "Transiberian". Anyone else tempted to have a kid free meal?
On another note: this is the first dinner I have made in months that included meat. I am not a vegetarian or vegan, but due to concerns about the health of the planet and our health, I have cut way back on meat and dairy. I'm not sure if it is connected, but I haven't had a cold since doing this. Anyone else have any similar experiences? 

I just finished reading this book. I was drawn to it because it is about a relationship between a mother and adult daughter. And I have to say that part of the book is lovely and I look forward to one day having a similar relationship of respect and discovery with my daughter. 

I also found the book eye opening. There seems to me to be a lot of melodrama for both the mother and the daughter with respect to their searches for vocation and identity. It reminded me of the now disputed fairy tales or the line from Jerry Maguire that everyone scoffs at: "you complete me." But I feel that instead of a prince, we are looking for an "identity" to define and complete us. Recipe goes as follows: 1. Go to distant lands 2. take yourself very seriously 3. angst, struggle and depression (underworld) 4. rise from the ashes with fabulous sense of who you are and what you do.

Is the creation of your image any more noble and complete you more than finding your prince?

I am reminded of a line I recently heard Jane Fonda say. "Be interested, don't worry about being interesting." Any thoughts....

Life's Little Lessons

I've been reading this book lately. It's a little embarrassing, but I have a habit of trying to reform myself on a regular basis. I won't bore you with too much information, but in a nutshell, I see this book as a manifesto to change your relationship with struggle. Since reading this I really have noticed how much of life's activities revolve around "pushing through it" or "just do it". 

There is much more I want to say about the book, but I will save it for a later post. (I don't want to be preachy).

Here is a quote though: "You must live in a different world, not the world you've inherited, but a world all your own."

I write it because it gave me a good chuckle this morning when I read it and thought about the image I just encountered in the mirror. I had just dropped my daughter off at pre school and and then had my first look in the mirror.  (Had people all morning really been seeing me this way?) I certainly have gotten the part about "living in a world all of my own" down!

Princesses

So princesses have arrived in our home seemly from out of thin air. We now have a Sleeping Beauty DVD and watch it most nights. Now a days before bedtime Laurel will act out scenes from the movie. For three she is quite a talented actress. Our favorite scene lately is when Princess Aurora is sobbing at her table and then follows the "mean queen's" green light to the spinning wheel in a trance.

To my surprise, the whole princess thing has been very fun. 

Bowls

Ah, my beloved sense of order. If only my brain were so. I have the gift of three mornings a week to myself since my daughter started preschool. I find myself grasping at making order of all the ideas and projects I could do....

I've decided to try to relax a bit and allow myself to stare out the window with a cup of tea. Yes, some things must get done, but a lot of my activities are a desire to be productive at the expense of enjoying this day. I like the expression "tempest in a tea pot". It is resonating with me as a warning and a silly, self induced situation. 

Grandpa's 50th HIgh School Reunion

This weekend my dad came to visit us for his 50th high school reunion. (This is his home town and in fact our nest was the home he grew up in). He was a bit reluctant to do this weekend of socializing and mixers, but he ended up having a great time. At the main event he was able to sit at a table with his good buddies and they all had stories of adventure and danger that took them well into the night. Dad came home with a glow in his cheeks and a twinkle in his eye.


That got me thinking. What can I learn from this? After all time is flying and I will be at this point in life in a mere 27 years. What matters? Very few people were discussing their accomplishments and I don't think appearances mattered. From what I could see: family matters (both in memories of parents and the "new" families of spouse and offspring), adventures matter, friendships matter and (lets not forget) good knees and hips matter.

Grandpa and Laurel at a reunion picnic

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog. I hope you find it a lovely place to land from time to time.

    So it turns out that making granola is easy. It takes only 30 minutes and now the house smells really good. I've just made some and I thought this would be a good time to start my blog. I have been thinking about the importance of making a nest for family. To me that is making the home a place where we spend a good amount of time. We are told so often (sorry Oprah) to "live your best life". But it takes a lot of time and shopping to create that picture of perfection. Add to that, that being busy is a badge of honor these days. (Most conversations start with "oh, I have been so busy..."). Let's relax and hang out some. Would you like some granola?