Three Year Old Perfection (to her mom and dad anyway)

Self Portrait (from L's photo portfolio)

So yesterday was the end of our evaluation experience. Punctuated by a committee hearing on L's eligibility for special needs help or disability services. Although the results of her evaluation are that she is in the normal range for her developmental progress, and we feel comfortable that what we see at home and on play dates is just fine and no red flags, her teachers are still certain there is something wrong. We believe their hearts are in the right place, but they are wrong. They are so certain that their school is "flawless" (my word not theirs) that they can't believe that it may not be a good fit for my daughter. Therefor the issue is our daughter and not the environment to them. 

So with their words ringing in our ears at the end of the conference committee: "we are certain you will be back to the office of special needs in a year and you will have missed valuable time", we are over analyzing every little quirky thing L does. Along those line, here is kind of a funny little story.

I was driving my daughter to school a couple of weeks ago and (somewhat inanely) engaging her in conversation using techniques that her evaluator had given me. Oh and  let me add that many mornings before this whole evaluation experience- I would have the radio on and we would have a relaxing, fairly quiet ride to school. Well after about 5 minutes of my prattling on, L says to me: "Turn the radio on please, Mommy" (she's nothing if not polite). And when I did, she visible relaxed in her car seat and looked out the window in relief. 

So much for all this expertise????

Scratching the List

Caught! Another image from the photography portfolio of our three year old.


So I am thinking today of that poor, naive gal I was last week. What folly she had listing all these projects she expected to get cracking on. Instead our saga with L's preschool continues. We have (hopefully) our last meeting with all things to do with 3 year old evaluations tomorrow. At this point what I am worried about is L's fit within her preschool. I'm not sure how or if we will be able to continue to go there to finish out the year. 


Not to worry. I'm content in the knowledge that this is what I signed up for with motherhood. I will get to some extra curricular projects going in the future. Now- if I could only scratch taxes off that list of projects.


Oh and did I mention that nap time is getting much shorter too. No rest for the weary mom.

I Don't Want to Be a PTA Mom

It's funny in the last two days I have heard from two different moms about their fear of becoming a PTA mom as their kids pass from toddler, preschool age to big kid age. And I too concur- no PTA for me (not that any of us would poo poo anyones choice to do so). I can't speak for my friends, but my feeling is that the basic options for moms of big kids is to either have a "successful" career (however that would be defined) or be an awesome, professional mom (which would include a lot of school volunteer work). But most of the moms I know don't relish either option. There has to be a new option- one that we can be proud to speak of in which we are vital, interested and continue to be interesting. I know I always have project ideas that would keep me engaged and vital and leave time for heart to heart conversations in the afternoon with my daughter when she needs them. (I haven't figured out where these projects might have earning potential- and they are mostly only interesting to me).


Here is a sampling of what's on my current projects list.
1. Taxes (enough said- not worth discussing)
2. Garden ideas (will talk about if I get to it this year).
3. Veganomicon- which I mentioned in an earlier post. My desire is to go through the whole cookbook and through trial and error find about 10-15 fabulous recipes. I think of this as kind of like a little piggy bank- the calories saved and the veggies eaten in these regular meals will afford us decadence sprinkled through out an average week.
4. The Fashion File:

I splurged on this lovely book the last week. I'm 41 and recently decided I have about a decade left to look pretty decent so I better get cracking. So this book is written by the costume designer of Mad Men. She suggests thinking of yourself as a character (or the character you want to be), assigning three adjectives to that character and then design the wardrobe around that. 
I've come up with my adjectives- but I'm a little embarrassed to share. Tell me yours first.




And 5. This blog and a journal to sketch, play, write and think in. Thanks for sharing this space with me.

Add on to the previous post

I was just thinking about what I wrote (yes, while I was making the bean balls). And I thought that even though it is inartfully worded, this sentiment is why I wanted to create this blog. There is such a cultural emphasis on being interesting and accomplished. (Look at most entries on facebook- I have to wonder some times if people only do things so they can announce it to their "friends"). I guess I want to be a source of company (and perhaps comfort) to people who are just spending their weekends doing housework and playing hide and seek. Secretly (even though it can be trying and boring at times), this simple life is the most fun I've ever had.

Domestic Bliss

My daughter has been learning to use the camera and she caught this little moment of domesticity. I thought it was fitting because of what I want to write about. My husband M, recently caught up with my posts and reflected that I don't write about him at all and that it looks like I am a single mother. So this one is for him. (He'll be sorry he ever said anything).


So here is a perennial discussion we have and revisited this weekend: parenthood and hobbies. This is inspired by a facebook post in which a friend discussed all the things he was going to do this weekend including spending time with his family. How do people have time to pursue their hobbies when you have a child? I have to admit, when we have this discussion it is usually men who are doing the hobbying (art, biking, going to shows, having a life...). I bring it up because I find it annoying. People expect you to have a life when you have kids and they look at you like you're to be pitied when you admit that you haven't been doing much other than going to the park and the grocery store. It is a full time job this parenting gig and on the weekends we split it 50-50. We don't have the energy to be interesting.
So there is my rant. I have more to say, but I am pressed for time. L is about to wake up and I still haven't made my "bean balls" from this nights Veganomicon recipe (read last post).


Hope you are well.

Veganomicon

Happy Thursday everyone. Well mediocrity wins. Since no one told me to keep my everyday thoughts to myself, I am continuing on my Monday/ Thursday schedule. So todays thoughts revolve around cooking. I just bought this new cookbook. I'm not planning on becoming a vegan or a vegetarian (I don't have the discipline). But if I can have a repertoire of lets say 10 vegan meals to splash around on a regular basis- well that sounds healthy, n'est pas? I have decided to delve deep into this book and make most of its recipes (I suppose ala Julie and Julia). But my reasoning is that I tend to put my energy on a smattering of different things and I feel I need a little more depth and focus. So here is a start. 


To bore you even more with my cooking thoughts. I am planning on trying a regular meal cycle to the week. What I mean is Monday will be noodle night, Tuesday- international, Wednesday- Pizza... I will fill you in on how it all goes and if I have actually stuck to any of these ideas. 
How does meal time go at your nest?

A little vote

Hello- happy Monday. Well, I had on my calendar to post today. But I haven't been thinking about anything more interesting than the water meter man coming and what I forgot at the grocery store (cucumbers for this week's school snack). So I got to thinking. To post or not to post. I have several blogs that I follow and when I see a new post from them it is like a friend checking in. I love to "hear" what's on their mind. On the other hand- aren't we bloggers indulgent and often mediocre a fair amount of the time? Should we really be posting so much? Shouldn't we think a little more, be a little wittier before we fill up the cyberspace with our ramblings?
What's your take? Yeah or nay on the posting for posting sake?


And just so I don't leave you totally without anything interesting to feast on. Here is a quote I liked form Phyllis Theroux:
"Children are born with imaginations in mint condition, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Then life corrects for grandiosity. I was no exception."


I'm not completely sure if she means the children have mint imaginations or the parents do upon the idea of having children. I kind of relate more the latter thought. How many children would be born if our imaginations didn't go to the Van Trapps and other optimistic visions of family life? Then life corrects for grandiosity.

Musings on a cold March Morning

So it is a sleety, cold March morning and I am dreaming of summer. I'm not sure I love these little sketches, but it does reflect my earning for sun.


On another note, I have to mark this day. As I said it is sleeting and cold out. This morning I brought my three year old daughter to school and as we got out of the car I told her she should put up her hood. Not surprisingly she refused. She said it would mess up her "princess hair". As we walked the hundred or so feet from the car to the school she squealed with delight and mock concern with the rain on her hair. Her little arms were out and toes pointed as she pranced into school talking about her "princess hair". And so it begins.  


How is your March morning going?

Too quick to detect?

       Sorry no post on Monday- I was busy fretting again. This is as creative as I have gotten in the last week (building castles with my 3 year old). So I was fretting about the same old thing. L had her second (and thankfully last) evaluation for learning developmental problems. As I have said in earlier posts these were recommended by her preschool teachers who told me she wasn't communicating in class. I received the results on Tuesday and thankfully everything is fine. I hesitate to talk about what has been on my mind because I am worried that it would be disrespectful to those who are raising children on the spectrum. But since I have been absorbed in this situation (and little else), I will risk sounding ignorant. 

        I think what happened with my daughter is that at school she was exhibiting behaviors that looked as though she might have been on the autistic spectrum. She wasn't communicating with her teachers or her peers. And when she was "working" on a little project, she wasn't responding to others around her. While I definitely appreciate the concern from her teachers and if there had been a developmental problem I do believe that early detection is key. But to my mind her behaviors were also in line with a reserved, quiet personality type. I wish that the teachers had given equal weight to the consideration that she wasn't autistic. They may have tried harder to engage her in conversation or asked me if she communicated at home. I don't mind the amount of time spent worrying that Matt and I did- that's our job as parents. But I do feel bad that L spent the first four months in preschool on the sidelines.

       If any one has any thoughts or comments, I would be really interested in other peoples experiences.